yes, I am growing

March 13th, 2009
My arm is bruised. Dark yellow and purple. Starts on the top of my hand where the IV was and twists down my inner arm until it reaches my elbow. It is also swollen. It still hurts.
I call the Doctor to see if this is normal. Yes the Nurse says.
"Oh, by the way, you are on my list to call. The MRI came in and there is no tumor. The Doctor is stumped. You should have one with all the symptoms you had. We have to send you to an Endocrinologist. Also all the blood work came back OK except the growth hormone was elevated."
Well at least I was not crazy when I said I grew!
I call Mr Big Man at work again. HOT DAMN. I like that voice mail. I mean seriously. He needs to talk to me like that all the time. The panties would drop! Anyways, I leave a message.
He calls me back. He starts talking about the hormone, gave it a name and what it could mean. I asked how did he know all this stuff?
"If there is something that effects someone I care about I will research it until I know everything. I can be obsessive on it. This was one outcome. I will have to look more into it to see what the next step is."
Mr Big Man googles everything! I tell him not to be Doogie Howser MD and let the Doctors freak me out, not him.
He agrees not to freak me out but he is still going to read up on it.

my soul to keep

March 9th, 2009
We wake up normal week day morning time. He heads to the shower ... and well, you know what happens. If not, review some older posts.
On the drive to the Doctor's I recall how earnest he was in telling me to call him right away at his work. I never call his work. I have the number but I know how busy he is so I never bother. However with something like this, Mr Big Man wants to know right away.
The Doctor's office is very nice. I have never been here before, in fact Mr Big Man told me to try this place. This is where his Doctor is. The wait was short. The Doctor was super friendly as were the nurses.
I detail all my issues. She asks me more questions. I answer.
"Well, from what you told me this fits perfectly into the scenario that you have a tumor in or around your pituitary gland. We need to get a MRI done. This is not something to wait on, we need to act now."
They schedule it for tomorrow.
I removed myself from the situation so I was very calm. I took all the information on where the MRI was and how to prepare, etc. I am so very calm.
I call Mr Big Man. It goes to his voice mail. Well hot damn that is a sexy voice mail. How come he does not talk like that normally? I hang up and call back. WOW. I like!! That is one hell of a sexy voice mail. I will have to call every day to listen to that!! I leave a message telling him to call me and how much I enjoyed his voice mail.
I call my Dad and he is busy so I talk to my Step-Mom. I call my Mom.
Mr Big Man calls me back. I tell him what is up. The appointment is during lunch tomorrow. He asks if he could have lunch with me before or after the MRI. I want to but have to decline due to work.
As the day goes on I tell more people. They all tell me not to worry. It will be OK.
It will be OK, right? I can't die from this, right? I might have to have brain surgery but it will be OK, right? Right??
RIGHT!!????
I start to pray and one particular prayer comes to mind. Do you remember this?
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take

Everything will be OK. It has to be.