Monday, May 4, 2009

i wish i may, i wish i might ...

April 25th, 2009
He is gone. On a business trip. Due to this and our custody schedule and parents coming into town, our total length of time will be two weeks of not seeing each other. This started on April 17th and the next time I see him will be April 30th.
Our phone calls are super short. I am lucky if I get 5 minutes. I am 9 days in. This has been our trend for 9 days.
He sends me one text a day, usually around 5:30. We have gone one day with out any communication.
It makes me sad. I miss him but I will not tell him. I just say I look forward to seeing you or talking to you. I feel there is no need to make him feel guilty. I need to stay upbeat. He is not doing this on purpose, he is working and this is not something he can control.
I send him text messages several times during the day. Maybe a joke, a 'I am thinking about you' or an update on something that has happened. Small things.
He tells me he likes it. He wants me to continue.
He gets back into town on Sunday. Back at work on Monday. I know he will be working 13 hour days again for several days. I know our phone calls will be short. I know we will not see each other much for the next several weeks when he comes back.
I am not sure how long I can "deal" with this. It's taking a toll. Really except for small snippets here and there he has not had any time for us since the first week of April. We already have a limited amount of time so we had to make due with phone calls. Where they use to be fun, energetic and long they are now very brief and tired when we talk. Honestly I am not happy anymore and I hope it does not continue. I'm walking on egg shells again.
Wish me strength. Wish me patience.
Please.
Something sweet here that we did tonight.
I text him. 'do you still dig my chili?'
He texts back "like milli vanilli'
I text him. 'hmm, like girl you know it's true ba da dahh ohh ohh ohh I dig your chili'
He tells me on a phone call that my answer would be right.

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