Wednesday, August 19, 2009

ice cream

July 12th, 2009
I admit, right now, I have an ice cream fetish. It's the love of my life right now. I love ice cream. There I said it. I admit it. I love ice cream. Can we move along now?
So, on this Sunday eve around 6:00, I am wistfully thinking of ice cream. I should not be doing this for I need to be working on home work. It's just hard to focus.
I think ... ice cream. Mr Stunnin. Ice cream. Mr Stunnin. ICE CREAM. MR STUNNIN. ICE CREAM! Hey! That's a good combo.
I call him. I ask what he is doing. He is at work. I tell him to leave. I want to go get ice cream. I would like for him to come with me.
He is game. Mr Stunnin picks me up at my house and we hit Dairy Queen. I get a chocolate Butterfinger Blizzard. He gets ... something ... I don't know. It was a chocolate blizzard too, but I don't recall. I was a tad into my own blizzard to pay attention to his.
After eating ice cream we sit and chat. I tell him I do not want to go back to "school" and he does not want to go back to work.
He suggests we go on a walk in the Dairy Queen neighborhood. It's a fantastic idea! Dairy Queen sits on the corner of this quaint neighborhood. We take off down the old tree lined street. The weather is nice, low 80s, sunny and there is a slight breeze. While walking I reach out to hold his hand.
We are swinging hands, like a new couple, which we are. We keep looking at each other and smile. Almost shy smiles. Flirty smiles.
We talk about our childhood. Where we grew up. Our crazy kid adventures. We point our scars on our bodies where we were hurt and share the stories behind it. We talk about our childhood friends. The conversation stays in our childhood. We were kids again.
The walk was about 30 minutes. He drives me back home and he gets out to kiss me goodbye. The kiss lasts longer than it should. Lots of deep breaths. Lots of not want to let go. But we have to.
I go inside the house and sit at the kitchen table to start my quizzes. I notice ... I notice I smell him on me. AGAIN.
It just lingers.
I send him a chat:

8:13 PM Nikki: I can smell you on me
8:25 PM Mr Stunnin: I'm going to take that as a compliment... I cannot get enough of you. :-o
Nikki: so you are saying you can't get enough of me?
8:27 PM
Mr Stunnin: That is exactly what I am attempting to say.
Nikki: it's my Pisces / witch in training magic
8:28 PM Mr Stunnin: So... are there any herbs I get to protect myself? Wait! Why am I asking the person, uh witch, who's working her magic on me?
8:29 PM Nikki: no herbs or pills. sorry.
you are screwed
8:31 PM Mr Stunnin: Damn it!!! Oh well, if I'm screwed then I'm bring you down with me. Consider yourself to be equally screwed.
Nikki: hehe
8:32 PM NO NEVER!!!!
Mr Stunnin: You just wait, screamer! You're so... totally going to be screwed!
8:33 PM Nikki: HA!
8:36 PM Mr Stunnin: I have to say, too, that you do have an odd effect on my penmanship. Usually, it's kinda more chicken scratch-esk, and I've noticed that after spending time with you it's more flow-ish/flowery/loopy-esk. Holy Crap, you really are a witch! Cool!
8:37 PM Nikki: YOU crack me up
9:24 PM Nikki: time to take the unit exam
9:25 PM Mr Stunnin: and she's off, a little slow around the corner, but she's a strong finisher folks ...
9:52 PM Nikki: I missed 4
9:53 PM 1 for misspelling, left off an "r" so she should mark that as correct. so missed 3.
9:54 PM Mr Stunnin: Out of how many?
9:55 PM Nikki: 53
Mr Stunnin: That's an A!
9:56 PM Good goin' grasshopper.
9:59 PM Nikki: thanks
10:02 PM ok ok ok. I am going to get ready for the final exam
10:03 PM Mr Stunnin: Anything you need from your private cheer leading section?
Nikki: nope, I am good
Mr Stunnin: I really only know, 'hustle, hustle.. use your muscle... go bears go!'
Nikki: . You are SILLY! Hey, my mom just came over and I am wearing a shirt & panties
Nikki: and I say "how do you like how I am dressed?"
Mr Stunnin: hahaa
10:05 PM Nikki: and she goes "Nikki, for as long as I have known you, you have always preferred to be as close to naked if not naked, as possible" then she tells me a story (which I have heard many of times) about how I would take all my clothes off when I was little and sleep.
10:07 PM Mr Stunnin: The more I know the more I like you.. I just can't put my finger on why that is... It's a mystery.
Nikki: ;)
10:08 PM you better like me for more than my tendency to be naked
Mr Stunnin: You have no idea!
10:09 PM Your natural curiosities are seriously cool.
10:14 PM Mr Stunnin: I do have to say that I look forward to chatting and talking to you, naked or not. There's a lot more going on in here than just that you look good naked. And, you can find a lot more about that after you finish summer school.
10:15 PM Good Luck Grasshopper!

He's cool. Yes?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

getting to know you

July 10th, 2009
We chat with GMail. It is all day from when he gets in at 9:30 until I leave work at 5:00. I mean, we do work but we chat.
We flirt.
We reminisce about last night.
We both get hot and bothered.
I tell him "I almost took a ride on your disco stick!"
For some reason Lady Gaga stands out in both our minds.
Then I remember ... I do not know HIM!!! Not like I normally know a man at this point! What am I doing?? I decide to ask him some questions. I call upon Melissa B and Amy to help me with some questions ... getting to you know questions.
We talk about our dream houses.
We talk about our ideal family size.
We talk about our ideal place to live.
We talk about our dreams.
We talk about places we have visited.
It was a fun, flirty, getting to know you kind of day. I have respect for him. I trust him. I think we are on the same path and almost identical with our ideal lives.
I look forward to seeing where this goes.

Monday, August 17, 2009

I wanna take a ride on your ...

July 9th, 2009 - July 10th, 2009
As stated in the last entry, the first thing out of my mouth was "We are not having sex tonight."
He laughs. He agrees. He said that was not his intention.
My palms start to sweat again.
I show him the house. He likes where the "magic happens".
We go back to the living room. We sit on the couch. We get up and stand in the kitchen. We go back to the living room. We stand. We sit. We stand.
It's all nerve racking! What the hell?!?! I feel so under dressed! I feel un-pretty. I feel nervous. I really want a make out session.
An hour later we are sitting on the couch again. During the last hour we had nervous conversation. He has not tried anything. But damn, I guess I need to be the one to start.
"There is something I like to do. I like to sit on my man. Really it is straddling. Facing him." It is very true. I love to do that. For foreplay. For serious conversations. For fun. I just like to do it.
Mr Stunnin smiles and tell me to go for it.
I do. He is sitting on the couch. I swing my leg over and straddle him. We are facing each other. I smell him. Oh my gosh he smells so good. So manly. So sexy. We look at each other. I take my glasses off. THIS girl can not make out with glasses on.
We smile and I go in for the kiss.
It's slow.
It's start and stop.
It becomes awkward.
It does not feel right.
I don't like it.
We stop. I say "This will get better. We are nervous."
He agrees.
I touch his body. My hands go under his shirt. "My God you are hot! Not like Paris Hilton hot, but like fever hot!"
He is laughing.
"That sounds bad. You are Paris Hilton hot too! But I meant you are HOT, like fever hot." Oh my, there goes my mouth! I tell you what, some things that come out are not meant to be said! I am embarrassed.
Mr Stunnin says "You ARE Paris Hilton hot!"
I lean in for a kiss and it gets all awkward again. It's not the right rhythm or something. It's just off. I don't like it. Oh my, if this is what sex is going to be like, I am not going there. It would SUCK!
I am still leaning in but move towards his neck. I give him butterfly kisses on his neck and say "I like aggression. I like to be dominated. I like for the man to take control." While saying that I think, 'this pansy ass shit AIN'T cutting it!'.
Mr Stunnin goes, "I don't know how far to take it. I don't want to scare you. I don't want to freak you out." His hands FINALLY touch my body.
Electricity is flying.
I look into his eyes. "Just take it. If I tell you to stop. STOP. Otherwise, just TAKE IT."
We stare at each other for a moment.
He takes my tank top off. He is watching my face to see if this is OK. He wants it but I can tell he is afraid to take it like I told him to. With the shirt off we both realize, hot damn, I am not wearing a bra! After 5-10 minutes of a heated, steaming, aggressive make out session he stands up.
My legs wrap around him. Remember, I was sitting on him.
He carries me down the hall to where the magic happens. SCORE!
I remind him. "We are not having sex tonight."
"I am well aware of this. Let me know if I am going too far." Mr Stunning sounds husky when he says this.
He places me softly on the bed. We make out a bit more. It feels right. It feels good. This is what I am talking about!!! WHOOOO HOOOOOO! He sits up and pulls my boxers off. Real quick like.
I am naked. I don't care. He is still dressed. I tell him to take off his shirt. He does.
Magic happened.
There was no sex.
He worshiped my body.
I am a lucky lady sometimes. After 2 hours of bliss I tell him I need to get some sleep. I walk him to the door, naked. He keeps smiling. He tells me often that I am a beautiful sight to look at. He can get used to it. He appreciates that I am comfortable naked. "Do you know what you are doing to me?!"
"Yes" I said. I smile. We kiss softly goodbye.
He leaves. I take a deep breath. I can smell him on me. I go to the bedroom to go to sleep. I close my eyes and breath his scent in over and over until I fall asleep.

Friday, August 14, 2009

isn't natural best?

July 9th, 2009
An hour before lunch I send a chat. I tell him I am thinking I want him to great me in a certain "special" way. Something special in the kiss department. He is interested and says he will see what he can come up with in the kiss department.
I have butterflies. My toes curl. This is BEFORE the kiss.
I am sitting down waiting for him to enter the restaurant. For some reason I beat him this time.
He enters and spots me right away.
My hands start to sweat. CRAP. He makes me nervous! Ah CRAP! I made myself nervous! I told him to kiss me with a greeting.
I wipe my palms on my pants. I swallow. I smile. He comes over and sits next to me. My heart starts to pound. I'm still wiping my palms. He leans in to kiss me and I think 'this is wrong' and I am so DAMN nervous!!! I know the kiss was good but we were sitting next to each other in the restaurant and it felt off. It did not flow. There was too much pressure. Way to go Nikki.
Moment = ruined.
He stands up to sit across from me and I immediately relax. Then he leans down and plants a quick one on me. THAT one I liked.
What the heck?!
My butterflies were gone. My palms were dry. My heart beat goes to normal.
I'm calm again. We talk. We laugh. We share stories. We talk about family. We have ME TOO moments. We get to know each other a little more. It was a fabulous lunch.
It's time to leave for I have exactly one hour for lunch.
I think about him all afternoon.
I do not see him online. I sent him a quick email before 5:00. The title is "I need a break!" and the email says "I have a confession to make. A little secret if you will. I really look forward to our first make out session."
I giggle. I wonder what he will think.
I leave work. I go to the gym. I work out big time.
I take a shower and get online. It's time for school.
He had sent an email and he is online. He told me in his email I made his pants hard to wear. HA!
I send a chat, tell him my school schedule, for you know, reasons. He wants to know the reasons. I tell him if I get done with my school work, I can have a break. He gets very excited. He is at work and between assignments I chat with him. I keep him posted. 3 out of 6 done. 4 out of 6 done. 5 out of 6 done. 6 out of 6 done.
11:13 PM Nikki: sooooo
11:14 PM Mr Stunnin: hmm???
11:17 PM I, very much, would like to see you tonight. If only walk your halls and see what tastes you have and what pictures you hang... and, maybe to kiss you, too. You know, only if you're a really nice girl though, a guy's gotta have standards. :)
Nikki: haha
11:18 PM what standards?
my house is a mess
I have not cleaned in a month
Mr Stunnin: haha
Nikki: I am not kidding
I have picked up
but it is not up to par ... my par
11:19 PM and I am wearing my glasses
no make up on
Mr Stunnin: Oooo.. really! I could see you with your glasses! Cool!
Nikki: no hair "did"
Mr Stunnin: Where did you put your hair?
Nikki: it's hanging up
11:20 PM Mr Stunnin: What, in the closet?
Nikki: bathroom
behind the door
2nd peg down
Mr Stunnin: Your hair is hanging behind the bathroom door?
Nikki: yep
Mr Stunnin: I'm confused.
Nikki: I am kidding!!!
11:21 PM Mr Stunnin: HEY!!!
Nikki: LMAO
Mr Stunnin: It is MY job to tease you... don't go gettin' any ideas girly!
Nikki: I'll try not to get any ideas
can't promise
Mr Stunnin: uh... huh...
11:22 PM Nikki: so ....
I need a game plan
Mr Stunnin: k... I'm game.
11:23 PM What can I do coach?
Nikki: ring

I call him. I give him my address. I warn him. I am in a tank top, boxers, glasses on, no make up and my hair dried naturally.
That says a lot for I have very curly hair.
I stand at the door and wait. I start to get excited. I run to the hall way to go to my bedroom to straighten up ... why? what for? My heart starts beating again. Hard. Loudly. I start breathing heavier. I walk down to the bedroom and stare in my room. I turn and walk into the bathroom. I have an urge to put make up on. I have an urge to fix my hair. I have an urge to look "pretty". I start to panic.
I hear his car.
I run to the front door. I HAVEN'T FIXED ANYTHING!!! HE GOT HERE TO FAST. IT WAS LIKE FIVE MINUTES. OH MY GAWD!!!!! He gets out of the car.
He smiles.
I let him in the house and first thing out of my mouth is "We are not having sex tonight."

Thursday, August 13, 2009

outside the box

July 8th, 2009
We are again back to no communication. We have had 2 phone calls. 3 dates. A handful of chats. Otherwise, nuttin! Nuttin at all! It's been a month! Insane.
I think about him off and on. We have a lot of fun when we are together. We play. I am calm with him. I have that peace I need. I also have the insane desire to jump him! He is kind of a combo of Mr P and Mr Big Man. The passion with Mr P and the peace with Mr Big Man. Plus he is hot!!!!
Yet I feel I still know nothing about him.
Everything I have done with other men I have not done with him.
I usually have this whole "screening" process. I ask certain questions. I have a certain amount of phone calls. I send so many emails ... but nope, that has not happened.
I initiated our kisses ... that COULD be normal in a relationship but not the norm before the relationship. Everything is off kilter ... he took my comfort zone from me.
And I let him.
And I am only a little freaked out.
We chat briefly tonight with Gmail chat. I am "in school" - I'm taking online classes - and while I am in school he is at work - the evil blue empire.
I tease him that he works as hard as I do. He says he is working hard so he can be free when I am done with school. He works an average of 50 hours a week usually but he's killing it with about 75 hours now.
We see each other tomorrow again. Our 4th date and it will be during lunch again. One week from our last date.
I am very eager and I am very much looking forward to it.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

he has a crush on me

July 2nd, 2009
Third date. Lunch date.
We have not talked since the 'ring' phone call. No chats. The 'ring' phone call was to figure out where we are meeting for lunch.
Mr Stunnin and I meet at a FANCY french restaurant. We laugh, giggle, just have a grand time. We talk about my studies, gym, friends, where we have lived and some hobbies we enjoy.
After 30 minutes or so I realized I really like this guy. I have no idea who he is but I like him. I'm going to make a move to further or stop the relationship (I have no time to date, remember ... damn school).
I decided to hit him with a hard topic but one that is important. Money. I want to talk about money. I start with what I think, how I spend, how I struggled to get out of credit card debt and I am there now, how I plan on not getting back into debt ... it was a complete money talk. I then asked his opinion.
He agreed with me. He may be a little more conservative than I am but all in all we agree! It was a hearty, healthy talk and again we had a lot of Me TOO moments! Afterwards we sat and smiled at each other.
I did find out with his new job he had a significant wage increase over his last job. Due to this he was able to apply a lot of money to paying off his student loans. He has 3 degrees. He said by Spring everything will be paid off. I can't imagine what 3 degrees cost but I know it's a pretty penny!
It was time for me to get back to work. We walked to the car. I am looking at Mr Stunnin. My face turned up. I had a smile on my face. It was sunny and there was a small breeze. I remember this for my hair blew over my mouth. He brushed the hair away and leaned in to kiss me.
Once again it was perfection. I don't have to teach him to kiss "my way". I don't have complaints about how his lips feel. It was perfect. I leaned into him a little and he grabbed me so our bodies were pressed together. Wow. His body. His BODY. His FREAKIN body! Think about pressing your body against a living statue of David. Swoon! The kiss lasted for a bit. A bit longer than it should. I do not recall who pulled away first.
I know we smiled at each other. I told him to have a safe trip. He was going back home for the holiday weekend. He told me to have a safe trip, I was taking my daughter to the Ozarks for the weekend.
Back at work I update my Gmail status to "I am made of awesome".
When he gets back to work he updates his status to "She IS made of awesome".
I send him a chat:
2:29 PM Nikki: I am made of awesome
never doubt that
2:30 PM Mr Stunnin: I'm bringing a spoon next time.
Nikki: haha! What do you mean?
2:32 PM Shawn: Well... I've noticed that you're also sweet, so I was thinking that I might spoon up some of that sweet awesomeness... could be good :)
2:33 PM Nikki: I have a secret
my mind went to a dirty place there
Mr Stunnin: {gasp!} No!
2:34 PM Nikki: NO!
no it didn't
never ... nope ... never .... ever ... maybe ... sometimes ... often?
2:35 PM Mr Stunnin: mmm... I'm thinkin' correct answer is 'often'. Yep!
2:36 PM Nikki: {shrugs shoulders & looks innocent}
I don't know what you are talking about.
2:39 PM Mr Stunnin: ooo... you're a dangerous cookie, too! Doing the 'innocent, sweet girl' all to very well. I'm gonna have to keep an eye on you. ;)
2:40 PM Nikki: k
you do that

At 3:00 he tells me he has to leave to catch his flight.
Two hours later I send him an e-card from and it says "You have a crush on me." I then add "Am I right or am I RIIIIIIIIIIIGHT? Pray tell. Nikki."
He then sends a postcard 2 hours later via his iPhone and it says, "I'll admit nothing!!! OK, OK, maybe I'll admit that it is rare to have someone so indelibly inked upon my mind is such wildly vivid chronomagical colors. mmmmm. Have a wonderful trip. Mr Stunnin."