I wanna take a ride on your ...

July 9th, 2009 - July 10th, 2009
As stated in the last entry, the first thing out of my mouth was "We are not having sex tonight."
He laughs. He agrees. He said that was not his intention.
My palms start to sweat again.
I show him the house. He likes where the "magic happens".
We go back to the living room. We sit on the couch. We get up and stand in the kitchen. We go back to the living room. We stand. We sit. We stand.
It's all nerve racking! What the hell?!?! I feel so under dressed! I feel un-pretty. I feel nervous. I really want a make out session.
An hour later we are sitting on the couch again. During the last hour we had nervous conversation. He has not tried anything. But damn, I guess I need to be the one to start.
"There is something I like to do. I like to sit on my man. Really it is straddling. Facing him." It is very true. I love to do that. For foreplay. For serious conversations. For fun. I just like to do it.
Mr Stunnin smiles and tell me to go for it.
I do. He is sitting on the couch. I swing my leg over and straddle him. We are facing each other. I smell him. Oh my gosh he smells so good. So manly. So sexy. We look at each other. I take my glasses off. THIS girl can not make out with glasses on.
We smile and I go in for the kiss.
It's slow.
It's start and stop.
It becomes awkward.
It does not feel right.
I don't like it.
We stop. I say "This will get better. We are nervous."
He agrees.
I touch his body. My hands go under his shirt. "My God you are hot! Not like Paris Hilton hot, but like fever hot!"
He is laughing.
"That sounds bad. You are Paris Hilton hot too! But I meant you are HOT, like fever hot." Oh my, there goes my mouth! I tell you what, some things that come out are not meant to be said! I am embarrassed.
Mr Stunnin says "You ARE Paris Hilton hot!"
"Thanks."
I lean in for a kiss and it gets all awkward again. It's not the right rhythm or something. It's just off. I don't like it. Oh my, if this is what sex is going to be like, I am not going there. It would SUCK!
I am still leaning in but move towards his neck. I give him butterfly kisses on his neck and say "I like aggression. I like to be dominated. I like for the man to take control." While saying that I think, 'this pansy ass shit AIN'T cutting it!'.
Mr Stunnin goes, "I don't know how far to take it. I don't want to scare you. I don't want to freak you out." His hands FINALLY touch my body.
Electricity is flying.
I look into his eyes. "Just take it. If I tell you to stop. STOP. Otherwise, just TAKE IT."
We stare at each other for a moment.
He takes my tank top off. He is watching my face to see if this is OK. He wants it but I can tell he is afraid to take it like I told him to. With the shirt off we both realize, hot damn, I am not wearing a bra! After 5-10 minutes of a heated, steaming, aggressive make out session he stands up.
HE STANDS UP!
My legs wrap around him. Remember, I was sitting on him.
He carries me down the hall to where the magic happens. SCORE!
I remind him. "We are not having sex tonight."
"I am well aware of this. Let me know if I am going too far." Mr Stunning sounds husky when he says this.
He places me softly on the bed. We make out a bit more. It feels right. It feels good. This is what I am talking about!!! WHOOOO HOOOOOO! He sits up and pulls my boxers off. Real quick like.
I am naked. I don't care. He is still dressed. I tell him to take off his shirt. He does.
Magic happened.
There was no sex.
He worshiped my body.
I am a lucky lady sometimes. After 2 hours of bliss I tell him I need to get some sleep. I walk him to the door, naked. He keeps smiling. He tells me often that I am a beautiful sight to look at. He can get used to it. He appreciates that I am comfortable naked. "Do you know what you are doing to me?!"
"Yes" I said. I smile. We kiss softly goodbye.
He leaves. I take a deep breath. I can smell him on me. I go to the bedroom to go to sleep. I close my eyes and breath his scent in over and over until I fall asleep.

our life is a song

April 16th, 2009
We are in bed.
GEEZ! Does everything happen in bed with us?
I am naked - again, common theme here???
I am waiting, waiting, waiting for him to start something. Do I get it? NOPE. Nothing. I'm sure it is not true but I feel like I start it all the time. I am PMSing and feel fat and want him to start this time.
I tell him good-night. I could tell that shocks him.
I roll over and he asks if I am OK.
"Yes" I lie.
Silence.
He turns the TV and the light off.
He comes to me and puts his arm over me.
I'm hot. I squirm around until the covers are mostly off me.
I sigh. Bastard. You are still not trying anything???
Nope he doesn't. He rolls away.
5 minutes later I pop up and say "Are you really that tired?"
"Well, no. Well, yes. I am tired but I am wondering what is going on with you."
"How come you are not trying anything" I ask.
"I did!"
"WHEN?"
"When I put my arm around you. I stopped because it felt like you wanted to be left alone."
"You have GOT to me kidding me! Putting your ARM around me is not trying! Kissing or inappropriate touching is trying!!!"
"Oh. Well I have dealt with this before and I was not going to try when you were not in the mood."
"Mr Big Man, these hormones are insane. I am ALWAYS in the mood. Remember, I think like a man now. I will NOT turn you down and you BETTER hit on me! What does this say about us? 5 months or so in and you are not wanting me? We should be bunnies! We should not be able to get our hands off of each other. How come you CAN keep your hands off of me?"
"I do want you, I just don't ... I could tell you did not want to be bothered. You were squirming around."
"YEAH! I was hot!"
"Ohhhh. Ohhhh." He thinks for a bit. "I ... I ... it seemed you did not want to be bothered so I was not going to bother you. I don't want to try to have sex with someone that does not want it back."
"I AM NOT HANNAH!! You can NOT take what I do and equate it to something she did. I AM NOT HANNAH!!" **side note, Hannah is his Ex-Wife.
"I know you are not her!"
"That is not fair, you can't do that!"
"I'm not!"
Silence. I start crying. Gosh darn hormones! I wonder if I should go home.
"Mr Big Man, I am not seeing you for 2 weeks after tonight. TWO weeks! For you to not try something ... it scares me. How could you not try???" The tears slow.
"You know how busy work is. I have been working 13 hours days getting ready for the business trip next week. I am tired! I just did not think. Well I was thinking then you popped up yelling at me."
The tears start coming again. DAMN PMS!
"Come here" he says.
I don't move.
"Come HERE."
I go. Slowly. Good Lord! How old am I? But you know, when someone hurts you it can be hard to seek comfort in them.
We talk some more. We talk about what I was thinking was wrong and what he was thinking that was wrong. At one point I said the conversation could have gone really bad. One of us could have gotten really pissed off. He agreed. I think this was our first fight.
I congratulate him on making me cry 3 times tonight. He asked if that was a record. I said not lately. He said we have lots of time before midnight, he could try to make the record.
I laughed.
I turned my head up to look at him. "I want you ... I want you to want me."
He starts to sing "I neeeeeed you to neeeeed meeeeeee."
That makes me laugh more.
"I'm serious!"
He says "Me too."

drive by shootings

April 11th, 2009

Have you ever seen the convenience stores called Cum and Go?

I have. I think they were on the East Coast.

Every time I saw them I would laugh at the name, thinking who would venture there?? I didn't. 

Well it looks like I had no choice today.

Mr Big Man was on his way to his parent house for the Easter holiday. He said he would stop by ... are you figuring out where I am going here? ... for a visit. He had to be at his parent's house by a certain time.

Well he is late. Later than he thought he would be.

He comes into the house and I make him fix my smoke detector. Can't go up in flames here, you know!

Get this, he does this without a ladder! Without going on his tippy toes! I can jump as high as possible with everything outstretched and still be a solid foot away!

I digress ...

He fixes it. I tell him I have to go to the bathroom. I do. When I open the door to come out ...hehe... he is in my bed. Naked. Giving me this come hither look! It was too funny.

I tell him to hold on, I better lock my doors!

I came back and ... well ... he ... comes. Or cums. I hate the spelling of that! Gives me the heeby geebies.

Then the bad boy gets dressed and heads to momma's!

It was a drive by.

OK, I am giggling here. I see a huge pecker spraying something out of the opening while he waves and drives by.

A hit and run! HAHA.

OK! I am dying here! Can you see it too? HAHA

Oh memories.

can you make a mountain out of a mole hill too?

March 15th, 2009
Okay! I told him I would text him when I got home. I started to. Didn't finish. I did not want to worry him but I was still so upset.
I went to bed. He texted me in the AM, wanting to know if I was OK.
He then called at 8:15ish and left a message. Are you alright? Did you make it home OK? I am worried. Let me know you are OK.
I texted back I was OK.
So, he shows he cares, right?
This is normal. This is what he does. He cares.
Argh!
Am I making an issue when there is none? Possible. Very possible.
I need to talk to my Chickas.
Jenni. Thankfully we had a lunch date scheduled. She said there is no time frame to fall in love and she thinks he does care and would not string me along.
Aim! Amy I call for she knows what is up. She KNOWS. I was sabotaging this. STOP!
Alright I will.
I feel jipped. I didn't get my 2nd sex session!!! haha. Good Lord, what is he going to do when I loose this sex drive again?
I call him. Ask how his day was. We chat. I ask if he wants company later. He said yes. He is always up for seeing me.
I went over, again 9:00. We kiss and make up. Well, he has no idea there is a need to make up for this was all in my head, right? Poor soul.
I still got the make up sex.
Afterwards I cried. Just a little. Small tears came out for I was thinking how I could have screwed all this up. He asked what was wrong. I said nothing. He wanted to know what was right. I laughed. Cause you know, if nothing was wrong something had to be right to make me cry ...
I said everything was perfect.
I drove home this time with a smile on my face.

alarms ringing

March 5th, 2009
Sleep Over! Oh how I love thee. We get to spend a lot of time with each other and I get to sleep when I am tired. I tell you, the evenings when I get there at 9:00 and leave at 11:00ish are very draining. The next day I am exhausted. This short girl needs sleep!
We decided to try something different for dinner and go eat at Dillions. Yes, the grocery store! They re-vamped the one next to a new upscale Wal-Mart that will be opening soon. Yes I typed that right, an upscale Wal-mart. Oxymoron, huh?
Dillions went all fancy schmancy and they have a buffet line / restaurant style food area. In the dining area there are leather seats, real silverware, a fire place!!!, I mean this is nice. In a Dillions! I want one of them here.
We get our food and just as we are getting our drinks and to sit down the fire alarm goes off. It is loud. There is an alarm every 4-5 feet from each other. WE ARE YELLING TO TALK. WE YELL THAT WE NEED TO MOVE AS FAR AWAY FROM THE ALARMS AS POSSIBLE. WE YELL AS WE MOVE TABLES. PEOPLE ARE YELLING IN NORMAL CONVERSATION. IT IS VERY LOUD. WE LAUGH. OUR EARS HURT. WE YELL UNTIL THE ALARM GOES OFF. THE ALARM DOES NOT GO OFF FOR A SOLID 10 MINUTES.
When the fire men saunter in to turn the alarm off and we hear the sweet sound of silence that is when we realize we are still yelling at each other. It was pretty funny.
We then decided since we were at Dillions we needed to go grocery shopping. And we did! Are we boring or what? In truth, I like it.
Due to the new birth control pills we have to go back to using condoms for a bit. Well, the whore went away for almost 3 months. The whore is back! I begged him - yes BEGGED him to go in without one. He said no. Damn it!!!
An hour later after the sex hormones and dopamine go down I am thankful he tells me no. This man catches me. Every.single.time.

with these 3 words

February 16th, 2009
We went to dinner at a Japanese restaurant. All during dinner I kept looking at him, wanting to tell him something but I couldn't.
We made it back to his house.
I was cold and he pulled me to him and we swayed back and forth. He just let the dogs out.
His arms were around me and I had my hands between us ... trying to stay warm.
I said "Can I ruin this moment?" It was peaceful. He said "You can do whatever you want."
I started ... "Remember the email I sent you over the weekend. It said I read 2 things and thought that is SOOO me and I FEEL it? One thing I told you ... it was 'Your smile makes me want to misbehave' and the other started out with 'Oh FUCK'."
"Yes I remember. You were going to tell me in person what the 'Oh FUCK' meant."
I stayed quiet. Then I began again. "Well it ends like this ..." I couldn't say it. I took deep breaths. He squeezed me tighter. My face was turned sideways. I was not looking at him. I can do this, I thought. I have to do this, I thought. I told my cyber friends I was going to do this! Loudly I said "OH FUCK" and I looked up into his eyes and continued "I love you". Oh fuck, I said it. Out loud. To HIM.
He smiled. Said "I really, really, dig your chili."
I'm serious.
I start laughing. "What does THAT mean??!!!" I ask him as I am still laughing.
He says "I can't say I love you right now. I will only say it when I feel it. I do like you. I really really like you."
I accept this. But he really digs my chili??? haha
I have never made chili for him. He just made that up.
I do love him. And he really really digs me. And my chili. He cracks me up. I want to keep him. Maybe forever.

Rules Rules and more Rules

January 25th, 2009
Seriously? We have rules? We are 2.5 months in (approx) and I had to throw out rules? Can you image his thought process when I told him I needed to start rules between us? haha
I bet I scared the crap out of him. hahaha
Sorry Mr Big Man.
Ready to hear my disgusting rules?
Rule #1. Get sleep.
Rule #2. Eat
Rule #3. Scratch that itch!
These terrible rules were brought into the relationship because this man … this Mr Big Man had a terrible habit of staying up to late and then he has an excuse that he can not perform 5 times a night because he is TIRED. Big baby.
Plus he “forgets” to eat and when I get there he has his food in the microwave and I have to wait for him to eat ... and digest ... before I get to be the whore like me.
And then he can only scratch that itch so much because he is tired AND food deprived.
Insane man. Heed these rules! Obay them! Never break from them!!
He agreed to my rules. Said they are very important. He especially values rule #3.
He is so fun to play with!

Our Saturday

January 21st, 2009
Mr Big Man and I decided to ditch the condoms and go flesh to flesh. I really wanted this. I love the knowledge of what is being pushed into me and the power of those pushes. The climax of a man rocks.
We had a STD talk and there are no worries there.
I started on birth control pills earlier this month and the pills say to wait a week before relying on them as the only form of protection. I saw him day 8. This was Friday night last week. We talked about how we were going to do this.
He did not want to take any chances. Mr Big Man said he would go without a condom but would not release in me. I was like “WHAT!” That was the point, you know!!
I asked “Today is Friday and if we had sex every day what day would you come in me?” He said Saturday. Yeah, that is being safe! Instead of day 7 you will go day 8? Whatever. I will never understand how a man thinks sometimes. I made him promise he would deliver on Saturday.
I did not get to see him on Saturday. In fact, Sunday through Tuesday went by too. I was not able to see him until Wednesday night.
It was a perfect Wednesday night. We played house. I got my first sleep over and brought my over night bag!!
Mr Big Man cooked me dinner. People! How do I keep getting guys to cook me dinner? I mean I never have to cook for them! I need to keep this up somehow.
The meal was good. It was a rather quiet meal. I helped with the clean up and even washed dishes. Hand washed! I told Mr Big Man I must really like him to do that. He said he noticed and he was impressed. He is very aware I hate to hand wash dishes. I was lucky to get a big ol kiss.
We did some errands, puttered around. Seriously! Just like date 2, we left the house and ran errands! After coming back to his house it was time to go upstairs.
I love walking up the stairs. I always start to get giddy.
I am sitting on the bed. He gets undressed, no biggy, just so very casual. He climbs into bed. I stare at him. I look into his eyes and take my clothes off. I can tell that turned him on big time!
We kiss. Lots of kisses. Long kisses. I am at an awkward angle so I swing my leg over and straddle him. He goes in. I whisper “today is our Saturday.” He stops kissing me and looks at me hard. He pulls me closer to him and goes to town.
I love how I do not need to explain myself. I say something random and he knows what I am talking about.
Afterwards we are laying in bed and talking. I said “you know you have to wake me up in the middle of the night and we have to have sex again.”
“Yes, I will wake you up in the middle of the night” Mr Big Man says.
“You promise?” I whispered this. My eyes were closed.
“That I promise” he whispered back. His voice was husky.
He kept his promise. He always does.

Ride em Cowboy!

January 9th, 2009
Setting the stage: Mr Big Man received spurs as a Birthday gift from his work. He is not sure why but they are pretty cool. Very nice spurs at that! They are expensive.
Mr Big Man has a 4 poster bed. A manly 4 poster bed, not a girly one! He doesn't wear spurs. At least I do not think so ... He decided to put them on one of the posts. On top of the spurs he hung his cowboy hat. I went to Mr Big Man's house last night.
The stage: In bed. Second round. I'm on top. It's the serious sex. The heavy kissing and the perfect rhythm. We are in the grove and just feeling. The tempo increases. The hearts are pounding. I sit up. The tempo increases more. Oh this feels so good. With every move there is now a JINGLE JINGLE JINGLE JINGLE! The spurs WALK down the bed post. The jingle is very loud.
It was so freaking funny. I sputtered out "Ride em Cowboy!" That made us laugh even harder. I said I am gonna "so journal this" and he groaned but kept laughing. We had to stop the sex for we were laughing too hard. Finally Mr Big Man ended up sitting up and flipping me over onto my back. I was close to the edge of the bed. We started up again and with the movement I was pushed closer and closer and then over the side of the bed. I was so far over I could not stay on and we fell to the floor! I fell to the freakin floor people!
Have you ever fallen to the floor with sex? Have you ever had spurs walk down the bed post during sex?
That was the funniest sex I ever had. I swear the memories we have will stay with us - at least me - forever.

Mr Big Man keeps going and going and going …

January 4th, 2009
Geez! I hope my mom does not read this. However she reminded me when I was younger I had a tendency to write about all my personal "stuff" and leave it for her to find. What a terrible daughter I was!!
I see Mr Big Man Friday night. There was a celebration and I meet 3 sets of couples that are his friends. One friend he has known for over 20 years! I was with Mr Big Man until 2:00ish AM. The lot of us had a lot of fun and it was nice to meet some of his friends.
His parents were still visiting his house so we HAD to wait until Saturday to get it on for the first time. However, that did not stop us from making out in his laundry room!!! It was hysterical when his mom comes into the kitchen and he is like "stay here!!!" Oh my word, how old are we? Whose house is this? Oh, it was funny. However I agree, that is not the way to meet the mother.
Saturday. I sleep most of the day! I woke up due to a phone call from Sasha going "Ah, Darling Nikki, where are you?" It was 9:10ish and I was to be at the coffee shop at 9:00. EEK! I was there in a flash. Came home, went back to bed. He sends me a text saying he is looking forward to tonight. He leaves me a message that his parents are gone and we are gonna GET IT ON!
I did not respond to the text or voice mail. I was sleeping, remember? I called him after his 2nd text and 2nd voice mail and said "Yes, we are gonna get it on, like Donkey Kong!" I mean this is going to be our first time!!!! He did tell me something really funny. When he was out with his son at Walgreens on Saturday, he found a BOB (battery operated boyfriend)! I about died! This man is a keeper.
So, I get ready. I shave!
I put on my new spectacular black bra. Very sexy. Very steamy. I even like the twins in there! Oh! They are the big twins still. YES.
He likes my hair curly, I know, what is wrong with him? No sexy straight hair for him. I leave it natural. Throw on my sweats and I am out the door. Yes I wore sweats. Easy on and off is what I was thinking.
I get there and I am so nervous. I told him I need a drink. He laughs and makes one for me.
We head up stairs.
I am walking behind him thinking, "this isn't romantic, this isn't sexy, this is not passion" ... silently freaking out. I quickly finish my drink. We talk and I am getting more and more nervous. Why did we plan this? I'd rather not know! I finally go sit on his bed while he is getting ready (kicked the dogs out, turn on the heater for it was cold, etc). I realized I am facing the mirror. I stare at myself. Judging. I am in sweat pants with a large sweat shirt on ... what was I thinking???!!! I gave myself a 4. Mr Big Man comes behind me and I tell him to take off my shirt. We are both looking in the mirror and BAM. My spectacular black bra is showing. He LIKED. I liked! I gave myself a 10 at that moment looking in the mirror. A kiss to the neck and the passion began.
That is all the details you are getting. The basics would be he has stamina! I was still a whore and there was a lot of ... well, I was very vocal. The foreplay still lasted a long time but finally when I "demanded" it he gave it to me. After the 3rd time I fell asleep in his arms. He woke me up about an hour or so later ... After the 5th time it was time to go home. I left at 2:30AM.
How about that for the energizer bunny??
I told him I was going to journal this. He gave me a look like DUH, I knew you would.

Nice and Naughty

December 29th, 2008
Date #6 and Date #7
#6 We went to breakfast on Friday morning. I drove up to his town and parked at the park and ride by the toll. He picked me up and we went to First Watch to eat. He saw a co-worker there and we stopped at their table and he introduced me to her. I liked it. It made me feel like he thinks I am a keeper for he wants me to meet his work family. We went to our table and ordered our food. The conversation flowed as it always does. It is amazing to me how many times he says something and I say back "me too!" AND I AM NOT LYING! It really is me too!
One thing I really like is how creative he is. We talked about Leonardo Di Vinci and how he had a million ideas, inventions and things going on at the same time ... Mr Big Man reminds me of Leonardo. He writes music, he writes poetry, he writes books, he invented this accessory for kids (can't go into detail for it will make big money), he builds things ... working on a bed for his son, he installed hardwood in his home ... the list can go on and on.
I am so not creative like that but I already know where I fit in. We talked about this. I keep him on track. I am the planner.
Mr Big Man's parents were watching Little Man while Mr Big Man went to breakfast with me. We were to be gone for 1.5 hours or so. Not a big deal. I asked him what time it was ... 3 hours later. Holy crap we need to get back! He called his parents and let them know he was heading back. On the drive back to my car we said we would go out again Saturday night. WOW! A Friday and Saturday date? This is moving right along. We said our good-byes which were completely PG. It was a nice sweet kiss.

#7 Mr Big Man picked me up on Saturday. The snow and ice day! He drove to my house. We went to eat at Ruby Tuesday and then went to Barnes and Noble for hot chocolate and dessert. I love, love, love, LOVE that he loves hot chocolate like I do. I asked him if Barnes was our date spot and he said it seems to be. We closed down Barnes ... 11PM this time and went back to my house. We were watching TV when my daughter walks into the living room! THIS MAN HAS SEEN MY DAUGHTER twice!!! I do not think she saw him for she was really sleepy but she was looking in his direction. I scooped her up and took her back to bed. After having that heart attack we chilled for a bit. My mom's dog came out and he played with him. After some time we started the make out session.
No PG here, completely X rated. Yeehawww! This man blows my mind. FABULOUS. Yummy. Just incredible. Makes this woman so weak in the knees I can not stand. Literally, I try to stand and I fall right back down. Still no freakin sex. However due to the conversations we had on the phone I understand why. I did not get pissy this time. I still let go and he still caught me. I was still a whore. A whore that does not have sex, is that possible? It is gonna happen very soon. I made him promise!!! haha. I am so looking forward to it. I am still so very scared. Remember his nick name fits very well.
Y-Day ... (Yes, yes OMG yes Day AKA we are gonna have sex!) is January 3rd. I know this. I was promised this!
We are going out again on Tuesday night. Not sure what we are going to do. Then of course we are going out on Saturday 1/3. I KNOW what we are going to do. ;-)
Side notes, I have many nicknames for him. He knows them all. They are: Joey (not his name), Charlie Brown, Mr Big Man, his long name, his name shortened (IE Nikki for Nicole)
I now think about him all the time. I am not seeing anyone else at this point. I have a boyfriend people.
We have not made it official but with us setting the Y-Day it might was well be. We both agree that once sex starts we are EXCLUSIVE.

Pissy? Who me?

December 22nd, 2008
Date # 5.
I got to see his house. He had a very nice house. Beautiful. He likes antique furniture and all the pieces were big ... is there a theme here on big?? He took me on a tour of his house. Do you recall with Mr P, he showed me his closet and I said "I've seen bigger?" Well, I told Mr Big Man this and he thought that was funny. On the tour of his house, Mr Big Man wanted me to see his closet too. It was all in joking fun so I said yeppers and we took a look. The closet is bigger than Mr P's! haha. Bonus points, Mr Big Man has the better house. By far.
After the tour he put Kate's bike together. It took him 10 minutes or so. He did not look at the directions, just did it. It was pretty cool. A man that can use his hands like that is so freakin sexy to me. I told him I would never forget him since he was the man who put together my little girl's first bike. He turned and smiled at me when I said that.
After the bike was put together we started to watch Batman Returns. It was good. I think I missed the last 15 minutes or so of the movie. Now why would that be?? Hmm.
He took my hand and we went upstairs. OK ... my sex drive came back and I think like a man now. I just want the damn sex. I still did not get it! I was pissed!
I told him I did not like him. This was mean. At one point I quasi yelled at him "Are you freakin kidding me?! You MUST be the woman in the relationship and I MUST be the man!!!" Yes it is bad I said that. Yes he still continued.
It was an hour and a half of foreplay. It was delicious. I just completely let go. I trust him 100% and I do not know why. The things he did and how he did them were freakin amazing. It was like my whole body was worshipped and not just one part. It was better than any sexual experience I have ever had except of course the no sex. How can a man have that much self control? I was still a whore!
I asked him if we were ever going to have sex. He said yes definitely. It is going to happen. 10 minutes later I asked if it could happen now. He still said no. Damn him. Bless his heart for doing the right thing.
I left his house at 2:15AM.
His parents are staying at his house until January 5th or so and my whole family is at my house right now. I am not meeting his parents / family and vice versa. I said to him that it seems we would have to wait 2 weeks to see each other again. He said we would figure something out and we did not have to go that long. Last night we made plans for breakfast on the 26th. I wanted the breakfast so there would be no temptation. I need to behave!

Mr Big Man fulfils

December 18th, 2008
4th date with Mr Big Man.
He came over late, 8:45ish and picked me up. My mom was in the living room and I felt like a school girl. "Mom, don't wait up and NO you can not meet him!" I ran out to the car to see him. My mom is staying at my house for the holidays.
We went Christmas shopping. First we went to Best Buy and had a very interesting encounter with Oskar the Sales Man. Oskar was a Chatty Cathy and followed us around the store. It was funny but irritating at the same time. During this Mr Big Man was holding my hand and rubbing my back and just being sweet.
We left Best Buy and went to Toys R Us. I was telling him how I bought my daughter a bike for Christmas and I was NOT looking forward to putting it together. He said "I'll do it; it will be quick and easy." Seriously! He took my Wee One's bike home. I will pick it up from him on Friday at our next date! I did not think I sounded like I wanted him to help. It was just a thought like, crap I have to put this bike together but I can do it. What brownie points he has ... putting my baby girl's first bike together. I love it.
We left there and tried Barnes and Noble. They close at 10PM! They are open later on the weekend ... so, where do you go from here? We decide to go back to my house. I made him hot chocolate. I love a man that loves hot chocolate like I do.
Mom was awake. I ran into the house and was like "Mom, he is coming in. Can you stay in your room?" hehe. She did. What a trooper mom I have!
We watched TV. We had another make out session. Mr Big Man is, holy crap, Mr Big Man is ... oh my word ... Mr Big Man is yummy. LOL. Just yummy. No sex. He has great self control. Mine is out the freaking window. With Mr P I was all about the stopping when it was going too far and not having any issues with my self control. With Mr Big Man I let go. I let go. Wow. I let go and he catches.
I begged again. Good Lord!
Dude I am such a whore with him! Not really but if feels like it. I did get a much better look this time and I am kind of scared of ever having sex with him.
Whatever. We are so gonna have fun making out. Oh! At the end I stood on the couch and I was STILL shorter than him.
I am thinking about him all the time.

Brown Chicken Brown Cow - yeah baby!

December 15th, 2008
Whoa! Did you think I was gonna write a porn? Ya, ya, maybe I would but not on here! Come on!
Mr Big Man. He got his name because he is tall, remember? He is 6'4. He calls his son Little Man so I thought calling Mr Big Man "Mr Big Man" was a perfect fit. He does know I have given him that nickname and why I did.
He picked me up at my Dad's in the big city. I was staying the weekend with my Dad. We did not go out until late so it did not seem like I left my daughter with a baby sitter. She was sleeping. He did meet my Grandma!! She said to me later "Darling Nikki, he is a tall drink of water!"
We went to Tanners Bar. I drank. When I drink I get "lovey". The last time I really drank I got knocked up.
That should give off warning bells in your head.
The bar was great. The band was great. Mr Big Man was great. He brought me back to my Dad's house. I did not let him lead this time. I took control. We made out in the car. HEHE. Oh my word how juvenile! Oh my word how fun! Needless to say, we have great chemistry. Oh the best part - the windows fogged up!! hahahahaha. I have never fogged up windows before! hehe. We were joking about a cop tapping the window and that would prompt Mr Big Man to say "Officer, I am 40, she is 30 and we both have kids. Please don't tell".
He also has incredible self control. Thank God! I was ... geez ... I am not proud to admit but I need to be honest here ... I was almost ... OK I need to be honest!! ... I might have, a tad bit, let slip that I was begging.
{Hanging my head in shame.}
There was no sex. He turned me down! I think at one point he said loudly "I AM NOT GAY!" I might have done some name calling? I dunno! I was drunk! That is totally my excuse for loosing it like that. There was touching as TERRA said "home base". I did tell him I found another solid reason to call him Mr Big Man. The name REALLY fits.
Side note here, Carrie made the slutty comment that I named him after a body part weeks ago. GASP. Well Carrie, you were wrong but now you can be right! And the comment is no longer slutty!
Oh the fun times. We are going out again this weekend. I am stoked! Yes, that came out of my mouth and I do not know why. That was the best 3rd date EVER!