Our weekend part 1 of 3

March 28th, 2009
The KU game was last night.
This was our weekend with no children. First weekend.
Mr Big Man said on the phone last night he would call me as soon as he woke up. He would wake up around 10.  We have had bad weather so he was to come get me.  He has the 4 wheel drive.
I'm so excited to spend the day with him!!
I wake up around 9:00. I make a cup of coffee and I relax on the couch. I wait. Nothing. I decide to take a shower. I make it a long one. I even shave my legs!
I eat. I'm impatient but you know, he is sleeping late, right?
I change the sheets on my bed. I pick up. I watch TV (my DVR is my soul mate!). I do the dishes. I wait. I wait. I wait.
I am no longer patient.
I am pissed. This is OUR weekend. This is OUR only weekend without children. What the hell is he doing.
Oh no, no, no. I am not calling him. No sir. I am pissed off. That man better call me.
I wait. I wait. I wait. I clean. I clean. I clean.
It is 4:45.
I call him.
"Hello?"
"What is going on?" I get out.
"Hey! How are you? Not much what are you doing?"
"Did you just wake up?"
"No, I have been up since ... oh ... maybe 10:30."
"What have you been doing?" My tone is neutral. I am seething but my tone is neutral.
"Nothing. Just sitting around doing nothing."
He was doing nothing. Are you fucking kidding me?
"Why did you not call me?"
"I didn't think about it. I have been in a funk. I guess due to KU loosing and drinking last night, well it was a bad combo."
"Mr Big Man, I am sad, disappointed and hurt right now."
"Why?"
The bomb of Nikki on the wrath has been released.
I get passionate *that means yelling* about the time. "This is our 1st child free weekend in 5 months and you do not call, you do nothing while you could be with me. YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS WEEKEND WAS TO ME. I HAVE BEEN SO EXCITED. NEITHER ONE OF US HAS OUR KIDS. AND YOU DO NOTHING?!! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO CALL ME. AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT?? THIS IS BULLSHIT! ARE YOU SERIOUS THAT OUR WEEKEND IS RUINED BECAUSE FUCKING KU LOST??!!"
Oh boy, oh boy am I mad!
"YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU. I KNOW YOU ARE NOT ON THE SAME LEVEL AS I AM BUT THIS IS MEAN. THIS IS HURTFUL. I AM SO MAD AT YOU. AND YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE BEEN QUESTIONING OUR RELATIONSHIP. WHILE YOU ARE DOING NOTHING, I AM THINKING THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH ME. I AM THINKING THAT WE SHOULD NOT BE TOGETHER BECAUSE YOU DON'T CARE ENOUGH TO SPEND THIS WEEKEND WITH ME. I AM SO, so, so ..."
The crying starts. I am so upset I start crying.
"Nikki, I don't know what to say. I screwed up. I should have called. I'm sorry. I don't feel right today. I'm in a funk. I will come and get you if you still want me too."
I asked what he wanted for he knew I would always choose to be with him and he said he would come. He never mentions the KU thing again and he does not comment on the fact I was questioning the relationship.
I know I yelled more things but with the passion I had, I do not remember all of it.
I call Krystal while I am waiting for him to come get me. I tell her the news. She tells me to drop it. This is "normal" for big time KU fans. Just have fun tonight and enjoy the time we have.
That is easier said than done.
Mr Big Man gets to my house at 7:00. 7: freaking 00. Nice weekend huh? Calm down!!! I can be calm. Forgive. Smile at him! You need to forgive. Give him a kiss. Oh damn! That was a big hug. Ohhh, he kisses me again.
He did say he was sorry again and that he was in a funk and he was not trying to hurt me. I was right, he should have called me. I bring him out of "funks" and bad moods so he should have called me. I said I forgave him.
See, me being big!! I forgive him.
We do our thing. We go out to eat and I ask if we can go shopping. I have a baby shower to attend and I need to buy the items. He says sure that sounds like fun!
We go to Target and he helps me buy the items. We had a me TOO moment on what we would buy or not buy for baby shower items. Leaving Target his best friend calls. They talk most of the way back to his house. Towards the end of the phone call Mr Big Man tells his best friend that he wants him to meet me.
That brought out a real smile. Maybe first one for the day.